Every once in a while my mind wanders and I begin to think about this guy I met 15 years ago. He was a year out of high school, just like me. He was studying at an area university, just like me. He was quiet, clever and had a knack for sarcasm, just like me. I enjoyed getting to know him over the years. His favorite sports teams, what kind of music he liked listening to, the movies he could watch over and over again. I loved how I felt when I was with him, loved and safe and understood. I wanted to spend every second of every day with him. I wanted him to make me laugh, I wanted to feel his hand in mine. I was fortunate enough to marry this man and today I call him my husband and father to our three children. The people we were have changed over the past 15 years. But the simple things that drew us to one another, a joke, a smile, a reassuring word are still there, it just takes a little more time to find them. 2016 is the year of “remember who we are”. This year we will make an effort to know each other and be intentional with how we spend our time together. There will be more date nights and quiet conversations. There will be more of us.
Finding time alone with your spouse is not an easy task, especially if you have small children. Securing a babysitter willing to watch multiple children is challenging. Finding an evening when nothing else has been scheduled can be difficult. Sneaking out of the house so the kids don’t notice, almost impossible. So many pieces need to fit together.
It’s worth the effort.
You and your spouse have a story that is uniquely your own. A story that exists beyond children, jobs, to-do lists. A story that continues to be written. A story that deserves to be read from the beginning every chance you get.
I am almost embarrassed to admit that it took nine years into our marriage before Nick and I went away together overnight. Nine years! That’s almost a decade! Who does that? We vowed, during our once every decade weekend away, that we would make it a point to get away together more often. We have kept that promise.
A friend of mine suggested some of us girls participate in a Date Night 2016 challenge, one date night a week with your husband. To be honest, it sounds like a lot of work. A lot of time. A lot of energy.
But hey! Our marriage is worth all of that.
52 date nights this year. We can do it. 52 chances to remember who we are.
We enjoyed a lovely evening out this past Saturday night. Dinner at a fancy restaurant. Drinks at a local tapas restaurant. Grown up conversation. Hand holding. Laughter. Connection.
It doesn’t always have to be a big production, it definitely should be once in a while, but reality is all around us. Jobs, kids, chores and exhaustion are powerful forces. Below are a few ideas for subtle date nights. The common component of them all – you and your spouse, what more do you need.
Take some time to remember who you are with each other. Chances are you are going to like who you see.
Subtle Date Night Ideas at Home
– 2 glasses of wine, TV tuned to an easy listening music channel and 30 minutes of uninterrupted conversation
– Bowl of popcorn, dimmed lights and a favorite movie
– Homecooked or take out candlelit dinner after the kids go to bed
– Warm bubble bath and 2 glasses of champagne
– Conversation on the patio in the moonlight
– A board game or card game
– Dessert and coffee while watching your favorite sitcom
Do you have some date night suggestions? Please share them below, we love to hear from you. Or, if you have other ways that you and your spouse connect, let us know.